xxx

Simon Sez Spend Money?

Just got an email from Simon Pang, who is in town tomorrow with some friends and wants to know if I can join him. For those who don't know Simon is a Malaysian-Chinese economist friend of mine from Christchurch, I've known for about six years, who works for NZ Statistics. His family are originally from Borneo (as in 'Wild Man'). He lives with his parents (in his mid.-thirties!), at least when I knew him, and cannot understand why I don't have any interest in owning expensive Japanese cars, stuck-up and rude yuppie Asian women, or making a lot of money with a commerce degree. He likes seafood, 'crispy chicken' and struggles with Kiwi-slang. Every six months or so he travels to Wellington and wants to catch up (at least to do this with Tahia Equib), which is ok except that everything he wants to do these days seems to involve spending a lot of money. Hence, I don't have much in common with him and don't contact him often these days, especially as the bugger doesn't write many emails. Tomorrow he wants to take a ferry to Eastbourne and then some Asian restaurant in the evening. Often when I was living in Christchurch, Peter O'Brien, Si' and Stephen 'Gary' Adams (for a time Steve had a goatee that made him look like Gary Oldman) would go to Joyful, a Chinese restaurant where Simon would order for us in Mandarin, assuring us we were given a discount as he knew the owner (I dunno to this day whether that was true). So I've got mixed feelings about meeting him tomorrow, especially as it will involve me spending money which should really go to other things, or maybe I'm just becoming like my dear old (miserable) Dad. I also have little interest in catching up with Tahia, since she has a new life up here, like myself, and we don't have anything in common (she also has a commerce degree and works for NZ Statistics - enough said). I'm also annoyed at the moment because my landlord made an appearance today (I haven't seen him since about six months ago he decided that he would try to get rid of the rust outside my door, which never happened) and told me he wants to inspect the flat at some stage, which will mean me spending money and time to clean it. I hope the sod doesn't mind how damp the place is.

Love... Romantic Comedy Style, Maybe?

But the thing is, um... what I'm trying to say very
inarticulately is... that, um... in fact... perhaps, despite
appearances... I like you very much.
- Mark Darcy (Bridget Jones's Diary, 2001).

In case anyone reading this was wondering, I have just watched a
rerun of Bridget Jones's Diary, which always makes me somewhat
melancholy.

Sometimes I feel like Bridget Jones.
Yes, I know she is blond, female and English,
but the similarity is there.
We both start the movie alone.

I would find it so much easier if I was Gay, instead of being 
who I am... at ease in most of my friendships with both straight
and homosexual men, yet sexually attracted to women. 
I don't ever find friendships with women easy.

There is some truth in what Harry said to Sally when he met her,
that with any relationship between men and women, 
sex always gets in the way.

If I find my 'Ms. Darcy', or similar,
chances are that she will only consider me a friend.
I don't want another female friend,
I want a partner and a soul mate.

I make it an unwritten rule never to date someone who I do
political work with, mostly because female (and many male)
activists are often motivated by anger at something,
and this can be easily translated as anger at me.
But rules are meant to be broken, given that
I seem to have little control over who I am infatuated with.

I meet so many women who consider me to be sexually aggressive,
if I show the slightest amount of interest in them, or 'gay'
if I don't. Sometimes I want to 'screw with them' for
stereotyping me in such a way, even though part of me still
wants to screw them. So to all the women who think like this,
I feel sorry for you.
I'm actually a fantastic person, and quite a good lover,
but you will never know this, if you continue to 
dissect me with such a blunt little tool.

Then, most of the unspoken for, 'safe' and 'sensible' women
I meet have baggage from a previous relationship,
either emotionally, or physically in the form of a child.
Issues of loyalty and fidelity are such with me that
I don't want to deal with other people's baggage, 
especially as I have so little of my own.

I don't seem to have that problem with the men I meet,
whether straight or homosexual.
But the thought of sex with men does not excite me.
To all the guys who desire me, and you know who you are
;-), I still need you as my friends.