Love... Romantic Comedy Style, Maybe?

But the thing is, um... what I'm trying to say very
inarticulately is... that, um... in fact... perhaps, despite
appearances... I like you very much.
- Mark Darcy (Bridget Jones's Diary, 2001).

In case anyone reading this was wondering, I have just watched a
rerun of Bridget Jones's Diary, which always makes me somewhat
melancholy.

Sometimes I feel like Bridget Jones.
Yes, I know she is blond, female and English,
but the similarity is there.
We both start the movie alone.

I would find it so much easier if I was Gay, instead of being 
who I am... at ease in most of my friendships with both straight
and homosexual men, yet sexually attracted to women. 
I don't ever find friendships with women easy.

There is some truth in what Harry said to Sally when he met her,
that with any relationship between men and women, 
sex always gets in the way.

If I find my 'Ms. Darcy', or similar,
chances are that she will only consider me a friend.
I don't want another female friend,
I want a partner and a soul mate.

I make it an unwritten rule never to date someone who I do
political work with, mostly because female (and many male)
activists are often motivated by anger at something,
and this can be easily translated as anger at me.
But rules are meant to be broken, given that
I seem to have little control over who I am infatuated with.

I meet so many women who consider me to be sexually aggressive,
if I show the slightest amount of interest in them, or 'gay'
if I don't. Sometimes I want to 'screw with them' for
stereotyping me in such a way, even though part of me still
wants to screw them. So to all the women who think like this,
I feel sorry for you.
I'm actually a fantastic person, and quite a good lover,
but you will never know this, if you continue to 
dissect me with such a blunt little tool.

Then, most of the unspoken for, 'safe' and 'sensible' women
I meet have baggage from a previous relationship,
either emotionally, or physically in the form of a child.
Issues of loyalty and fidelity are such with me that
I don't want to deal with other people's baggage, 
especially as I have so little of my own.

I don't seem to have that problem with the men I meet,
whether straight or homosexual.
But the thought of sex with men does not excite me.
To all the guys who desire me, and you know who you are
;-), I still need you as my friends.